LIKE AS ALWAYS …..

I don’t want to look around ,

I have been broken down .

It’s an empty shell ,

Where I dwell .

It’s my hollow eyes ,

Which hides behind the fake smiles .

It’s the hurting truth ,

Which even the lies can’t soothe .

I’m a broken bird with damaged wings ,

With a hollow voice that sings ,

That sings , songs of happiness ,

Just to drive away the loneliness .

Yet the air around me is so still ,

Darkness holds me against my will .

I want to fly ,

Just like the speck of dust passing by ,

I want to laugh ,

With my smiling heart ,

But it doesn’t smile , it only cries ;

‘Cuz everytime it was has been hurt by the lies .

It trusted people not worthy of my trust ;

It loved people not worthy of my love ;

It wants to trust but I’ll be betrayed again ;

It wants to love but I’ll be broken down again ;

It wants to laugh but I’ll be made to cry again ;

It wants to encounter light but I’ll be pushed back into the darkness again .

I locked it , for it shall :

Neither to laugh nor love again .

Neither to trust nor hope again .

But it’s trying ,

Only for my urge of flying ,

It hopes again & fight ,

Just to make me encounter the light ,

Just to make me look at the glowing sun ,

The shining moon , the twinkling stars ,

The smiling hearts once again .

One that’ll relieve me from my pain ,

One that’ll make it(my heart) glow again ,

One that’ll make it give out love again .

Only to be betrayed again ,

Only to be broken down again ,

And I won’t stop it again , like as always .

For there resides a hope of finding someone worthy of ,

For there resides a hope of not being broken again ,

For there resides a hope of being cherished .

For there resides a hope, like as always …….

For there resides a hope, like as always…….

*Bismala Zahid……